Harry Potter and The Saddest Childhood
by DrinkCocoa
Summary: Where Harry is furious, people are racist and the headmaster is way cooler than Gandalf.


Title: Harry Potter and The Saddest Childhood

Forum: QFLC - Round 6 (Seeker, Ballycastle Bats)

Prompt: Matilda

Word count: 1153

"You don't like me because I have magic, am I right?" asked Harry Potter, a 7 year-old boy currently cooking breakfast for his relatives.

"Well, obviously," responded Vernon Dursley while he was reading this morning's issue of the local newspaper.

Harry was silent for a few moments, something clearly bothering the boy.

"Well, I think that's racist!" said Harry and turned to face his uncle, temporarily forgetting about the frying pancakes.

"What?! How is that racist?" asked Vernon, visibly shocked by this accusation.

"I don't know, but it probably is!"

Vernon looked at the boy and sighed.

"Boy, I know you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, but try using your freakish brain from time to time. And be careful with that pancakes, you don't want to burn them, right?"

Harry blushed and quickly turned around to check on the pancakes.

"Alright," he said and continued his cooking.

* * *

"We finally start school, eh?" asked Dudley, Harry's cousin.

"Yeah, I hope I can do well."

"You think you can escape me now, don't you? I'll make sure to bully you everytime I see you!" said Dudley confidently, who was much bigger and stronger than his cousin even when they were little kids.

"Well, then I'll make sure you don't see me, and I'll be fine, right?" asked Harry.

His cousin's retort was cut short by the headmaster, who decided it was time for this year's opening speech.

"Welcome children!" His voice sounded a lot older than his looks might suggest."Another year has come! You will be starting your lessons soon, but we have to take care of some very important business first. In my school, tradition is respected! And, as tradition tells, I have to choose this year's victim!" he said, his voice loud and happy.

"Victim?" asked Harry quietly, not understanding what was going on.

"I have no idea, but if they want a victim, you're probably the best candidate," said Dudley with a smirk.

"This year's victim of bullying will be…" the headmaster stopped and looked straight into Harry's eyes, "this little boy here!" He pointed his finger at Harry.

The boy in question looked around nervously, and noticed that everyone was staring at him.

"So, that concludes my opening speech. Now, let us celebrate this happy moment!" said the headmaster and flashed them a smile.

"Wait a minute!" screamed Harry and everyone turned their heads in his direction again.

"Excuse me, but why should I be bullied? Is it because I can do magic?" asked the boy furiously.

"Isn't it obvious? You are the chosen one in this story, and every chosen one needs to have a sad childhood, that's the rule of being the chosen one, don't you know that?" asked the headmaster, a bit disappointed by the boy.

"Well, I think that's just racist!" screamed Harry.

"I'm afraid I don't understand, my boy. How is that supposed to be racist?"

"You bully me because I'm the chosen one!"

"Excuse me, but what do you all mean by 'the chosen one'?" asked a confused teacher standing alongside the headmaster.

"Well, he was chosen to be this year's victim," said the headmaster to his confused colleague.

Harry was even more angry now.

"Wait, so you bully me because I'm the chosen one, and I'm the chosen one because you bully me?!"

"That's about right," responded the headmaster, his eyes twinkling.

"Well, that's just racist!"

* * *

"Harry is stupid! Harry is stupid! Harry is stupid!" screamed some children on the playground, laughing at Harry.

"What? Why am I stupid? Is it because I have the worst marks in our class?"

"Well, yeah, you are totally stupid, you idiot!" said one of the bullies and the rest of the children laughed.

"Well, I think you are just racist!" responded Harry angrily.

"What? How is that racist? You are stupid, so we call you stupid, that's just fair!"

Harry looked at his tormentors, his face buried in a scowl, his eyes looking for an escape route.

"I have had enough of your bullying!" he screamed and the children laughter stopped.

"Yeah, and what are you going to do, stupid Harry?" said someone mockingly.

"This!" Harry screamed and picked up a stick from the ground. He stood with his stick pointed in the direction of his bullies, seemingly ready to fight.

His tormentors response was even more laughter.

"A stick? You think that's a magic wand or something? Are you going to cast some spells on us?" the bullies' leader said and the others snickered.

Harry only smiled at them.

"Yes. My favourite spell. _Stick in your face!"_ He threw the stick in the direction of his classmates, but nothing surprising happened. Well, at least for the first few seconds. Then, suddenly, his bullies' heads exploded. A teacher who was nearby run up to Harry as fast as she possibly could.

"Mr Potter! What have you done?!"

Harry shrugged.

"I don't know, threw a stick?"

"They are dead, Mr Potter! That's it, we are going to the headmaster's office!"

* * *

"Hello, Harry. I heard that you killed five students with a stick, is that correct?"

"Well, I guess it is, more or less. I threw a stick at them and their heads just exploded!" said Harry, a bit proud of his accomplishment.

The headmaster didn't seem as happy.

"Did you do it on purpose? Harry, did you kill five people in cold blood?" asked the man gravely.

Harry seemed a bit confused by that question.

"No, I did it with a stick."

"Why did you do it Harry? You know, we have to call the police. You'll spend the rest of your life in prison!"

"Why would they put me in prison? Is it because I have magic?" asked the boy furiously.

"No, it's because you killed five people," said the headmaster sadly.

"Now that's just racist!" screamed Harry.

"What? Harry, how is that racist?" asked the headmaster, visibly confused.

" _Stick in your face!"_

" _Protego!"_

Harry tried to throw a stick in the man's face, but a shield has appeared between them, successfully blocking it.

"What is that? You can do magic too, headmaster?" asked the boy, clearly shocked.

"Yes. I'm not who you think I am, my boy."

"Wait, you are not secretly Gandalf, are you?" asked Harry, suspicious of the man's identity.

The headmaster actually chuckled at that.

"No, I'm afraid I'm not. But, I am quite a lot better than Gandalf, my boy."

The headmaster raised his magic stick and started to wave it across his face. It slowly started to change, his appearance shifting to that of an old man with a very long, white beard. Harry saw his chance, and in the middle of the transformation, he grabbed his headmaster's stick.

" _Surprise stick in your face!"_

Startled, the headmaster never stood a chance, and his head exploded.

Harry stood up and looked at his beheaded headmaster.

"Now, that's just racist!"


End file.
